i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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