my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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