Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
