After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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