Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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