I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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