maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
