I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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