but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
