you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
