i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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