You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
