i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
