my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
