i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
