trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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