some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
