you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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