my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
