in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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