I showed him my bush... on skype.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's rum buckets o'clock
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
