nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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