Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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