It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
