My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was like eating out sand paper
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
