There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
