it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just pee around me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize