wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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