They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize