I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
