Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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