new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize