I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
