i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
