I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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