What a fucking waste of an outfit
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
