I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
