You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
