guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just want nice things and good sex
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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