I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
