sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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