i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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