I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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