i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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