Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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