Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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