you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
