Umm I'm too high to move.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
