That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
