yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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