You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
