so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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