I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
