I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
