Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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