i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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