I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
