You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he shaved USA in his pubs
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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