So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ugly people sure do ruin things
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
