I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize