You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You're so nebulous sometimes
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
