And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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