Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
