Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
