just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
