if you like me you must not know who I am
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
