I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
