So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
