Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
