Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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